


One Last Time and Time Again

by orphan_account



Series: Everything Together [4]
Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canon Compliant, I apologize to the ghost of JRR Tolkien, M/M, Sad Ending, Sex, Sibling Incest, fuck you Battle of Five Armies, possible slight underagedness but it's iffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-01-30
Packaged: 2017-11-27 14:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How many times can you have one last time?<br/>Fili and Kili in Laketown and Erebor<br/>Ends at the Battle of Five Armies<br/>The sex is explicit, the ending is vague.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Last Time and Time Again

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted at http://thorinsmut.tumblr.com/post/41899057063/one-last-time-and-time-again

The first final time we made love we were still children. We were… _I was…_ growing too old to blame it on childhood curiosity any longer.  
We had agreed, together, to stop. We shared one another one final time, slowly, through the hours and hours of the night until we had drifted to sleep curled in one another’s arms.  
From that day on we had not kissed, nor touched one another more than brothers aught, not for over twenty years… no matter how tempted I might be by his beauty, no matter how disappointed I might be in lovers that were not _him,_ and I was _always_ disappointed in lovers that were not him… and I tried, I _tried_ to fight them, but my fantasies were always him, always his dark eyes looking up at me, my name moaning on his lips as he writhed beneath me.  
We remained close, very close, even for brothers… Kili braided my hair for me nearly every day, we went everywhere together. On cold nights we even shared a bed, but chastely, even if the scent of him and the feel of his body against mine kept me awake in frustrated torment.  
I do not think our mother or Thorin ever suspected… I do not _think_ they did.

The second final time we made love was in Laketown, after we had escaped from Mirkwood. Mirkwood was the first time Kili realized that we could die, when we were attacked by the spiders, and it frightened my beautiful dark haired brother. He clung to me with shaking hands and I held on to him as tight as I could.  
And then we were separated by that cursed Elf King, locked up, away from one another for the first time in our lives, and with him already frightened…  
The coded messages he set me through Bilbo grew increasingly desperate and I did the only thing I could think of to distract and comfort him.  
I offered him one final time together and then the messages he sent me were hopeful instead of despairing, and that cheered me… but my guilt…  
I should have been able to think of another way to comfort him but I had not wanted to, had I? I wanted him, as I had never _stopped_ wanting him, and this was an excuse. I _knew_ it was an excuse, and a flimsy one.  
I did it anyway… When we were finally alone together in our room in the house the Men of Laketown had given us I made love to my brother, to my beautiful Kili.  
I undressed him slowly, removing his clothes piece by piece as he did the same for me. There was fire in his kisses, his breath panting hot against every inch of my skin as it emerged until we were naked.  
I pressed him onto the oversized bed and explored him first… slowly… so slowly… I tasted the warm skin of his neck, his chest, rubbing my cheeks to the dark curls on his chest, watching the goosebumps rise on his pale skin as he shivered away from the cold touch of the silver beads on my mustache. His hands were in my hair, running his fingers through it, his nails biting into my scalp.  
He groaned, arching involuntarily up toward me as I flicked my tongue over his nipple, the bright heat of his erection pressing against my stomach.  
My Kili was sweat-drenched and begging by the time, what felt like hours later, when I had finally worshiped every other part of him and allowed myself to lavish attention on his erection, running my hands whisper-soft up and down the length of it… feeling the beautiful velvet softness of his skin sliding over the iron hardness inside as he moaned…  
I swallowed him down whole, thrilling as he keened my name in a whining gasp, pressing him deep into the tightness of my throat, retreating only when I had to breathe.  
“ _oh Fili… yes Fili…_ ” He moaned, arching his hips toward my mouth as he pulled my braids down, the tears in the corners of my eyes were not from pain.  
I learned it for him, for my Kili. He would never know the practice I had put in, with lovers who bored me, only able to continue if I imagined him like this… eyes closed as he shuddered beneath me, saying my name… I learned it for _him_ even though I thought I would never have him again.  
He finished violently, his body bucking wildly, cursing viciously, turning his face into the pillow to muffle the sound. It took all my strength to ride him out, to catch every drop of him, to milk him until he could take no more and pushed me away.  
He lay drained, shivering with the aftershocks as I licked the sweat from his hard stomach, his broad chest, his neck… until he recovered and wrapped his powerful archer’s arms around me and was kissing me hard.  
One of Kili’s hands was in my hair again, tangling with my braids while the other reached down to grip my bottom, holding me close.  
“You don’t have to… do anything for me…” I gasped out between kisses.  
He bit me, hard, trapping my bottom lip between his teeth as I whimpered with the pain. His dark eyes burned as he turned his nails on me, scraping them down my scalp and back.  
“Don’t you dare.” he growled, “Don’t you _dare_ take this from me. You promised.”  
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” I gasped, and his caresses turned gentle immediately, and I gave up on fighting myself for the night.  
I lost myself in his attention, soaking up every touch, drinking him in with every pore. I was not the only one who had learned new tricks. I was not the only one who could take my time… he held me shuddering on the brink of my release for what felt like an eternity before he pushed me over.  
I never closed my eyes. I did not wish to miss even one moment of seeing my Kili’s hands on my body, watching his mouth envelop me in it’s intoxicating slippery heat, his dark hair hanging around his face as he looked up at me, watching my pleasure as I watched him pleasure me.  
I had not had an orgasm so beautiful since… since I’d had _him_ last… like death and life, darkness and light and heat, danger, and beauty, and the sharp edge of a knife to my throat and… and… everything…  
I choked on his name as my body took leave of my control…  
 _Oh my Kili… my beautiful Kili…_

We rested, and pleasured one another, and rested, and pleasured, and pleasured while resting and rested in one another’s pleasure until we finally fell asleep in one another’s arms… and it must have been near dawn when that finally happened because we slept late and awoke with our hands still on one another’s bodies.  
We untangled ourselves gently… wordlessly… but the shy smile he gave me, blushing as he half turned away…  
I kissed him.  
It was nothing more than a kiss, but…  
We dressed one another, and he brushed and braided my hair, and I brushed his and fastened it back with his silver clip.  
We left our room, arms around one another’s shoulders, proud and noble, the Heirs of Durin… and my guilt burned bright in the pit of my stomach.

 _One last time_ , I’d said, and I’d meant it. I had _meant_ it but… when he looked up at me with those big dark eyes I could never say no to him. Not to my Kili.  
The second night after the final time he asked me for another, wiggling over to my side of the bed, laying his head on my shoulder, his arm around my chest.  
“Do you remember the first time?” he whispered, running his fingertips lightly just under my collar bone.  
“Yes.” I answered.  
“I caught you…” He whispered, running his hand down to dangerously close to my groin, which I fought to control. His presence should not do this to me… should _not_ … my breath hitched against my will as he spread his fingers, massaging my thigh and lower belly, reaching so, so slowly toward what I fought so hard to prevent becoming and erection.  
“We shared a bed, and I caught you pleasuring yourself when you thought I was asleep…” he whispered, “And I made you teach me…”  
“I remember.” I whispered, my voice strained, and I did. I’d half-wanted him to catch me, but was terrified when he did… and then to feel his hand wrap around me, move my hand to his own erection and that soft whisper.  
“ _Teach me, Fili.”_  
It had been everything and more than I could have dreamed of.  
“Can we do that, Fili?” he asked, “Can we have that one last time? Just our hands, just laying here close together?”  
“Kili…” I fought with myself, his fingers brushing soft circles against the skin of my pelvis.  
“Please, Fili?” he begged, looking up at me with those big dark eyes.  
“Just one last time…” I whispered, and he smiled as his hand finally moved to the erection I had utterly failed to suppress.

My Kili asked me for a different ‘last time’ every night after that, and after every agreement it grew harder and harder to fight it.  
One night we used no hands or mouths, rutting against one another’s bodies.  
One night pleasured one another with our mouths simultaneously.  
One night he tied my hands behind my back, made me kneel, and plundered my mouth to his completion, leaving me aching with uncompleted need.  
The next night he returned the favor.  
One night we took turns watching each other pleasure ourselves.  
One night we raced to see who could complete himself faster.  
One night we raced to see who could withstand the pleasuring of the other for the longest.  
He stole some flax gel when Dori was making a batch for his and Nori’s hair and begged me to use it to take him. The feeling of holding him as I buried myself in him, feeling the heat of his body clenching down on me, his nails on my back, the look on his face as he thrashed with uncontrollable pleasure… I did not think anything in the world could be better than that, but was proven wrong when he took me the following night, whispering gentle words into my ear as he filled me beyond fullness.  
Every night he asked my for a different ‘last time’, and every night I gave it to him.  
It did not end until we left Laketown and were once again traveling with the Company and there was no privacy at night - though we did share a bedroll to stave off the late autumn cold. We were certainly not the only ones to do so.

When the Dragon had been defeated, and we barricade ourselves in the Mountain against the Elves and Men I took to sleeping apart from him so that I could not be persuaded to do what I should not.

My Kili came to me for the final final time when the Goblin hoards were nearly upon us. We were dressing ourselves in ancient armor from the Dragon’s hoard, preparing ourselves for a noble last stand.  
He came into the room I had commandeered for myself, closed and barred the door behind him… he was shaking, his face pale. He closed his eyes, leaning back against the closed door.  
“Kili…?”  
“I’m scared.” He said, his voice small. I dropped the piece of armor I had been contemplating and drew him into a hug, cradled his face in my hands.  
“We’ll be ok.” I assured him, and he looked at me with tear-filled dark eyes, shaking his head.  
“You can’t promise that.” He snuffled.  
“Kili, I…” I did not know what I was going to say but he pushed forward and kissed me, desperately, his dark eyes wide open and looking directly into mine.  
“I’m scared.” He whispered, “I’m scared and I want you and I don’t want to have to think… please… please…” His clever fingers undoing the straps of my armor, removing it.  
I did not have the heart or will to stop him. I wanted him just as badly.  
We rutted together wildly, on the floor, against the wall, across the bed… pushing and pulling one another, struggling for the upper hand so that it would have been a fine wrestling match if it were not for the pleasure…  
It lasted for ages, and was over far too soon.  
He wept against my chest when we were done, clinging to me, and I comforted him as well as I could.  
“We’re going to die, Fili… I don’t want us to die…” he gasped.  
“I’ll be with you, Kili…” I tried to soothe, “I’ll be with you. I won’t leave your side… Everything together, like we promised…” I reminded, and he calmed down.  
We dressed one another in the armor of our ancestors, and he borrowed some ink and a quill from Ori and wrote in Kuzdul on the back of my hand a word  
 _Everything_  
and I wrote on his  
 _Together_  
so that our promise could be read in our clasped hands.

Then Thorin led us out to rally the armies of Elves and Men and Dwarves against the tides of Goblins… we were a small force, but a mighty one.

At the end I held my beautiful Kili’s hand, our promise smeared with blood but still readable.  
“I love you, Kili…” I whispered, “You are my One, and you always have been. I love you…”  
and as everything faded to blackness around us, I thought I saw him smile…


End file.
